Roooooooooooooooooger…Roooooooooooooooger… December 13, 2007
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Just posted on EPSN.com:
A former New York Yankee strength trainer says information he supplied to the George Mitchell investigation regarding supplying Roger Clemens with steroids is included in the Mitchell report scheduled to be released later today.
No surprises here. I WILL be surprised if Arod is not implicated. And I will be heartbroken is David Ortiz is.
Hey…Indians…Yeh, I’m talkin’ to you! October 8, 2007
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You suck!
Your mom called… she said…she said…SHE SAID YOU SUCK!
You’re racially insensitive!
You’ll be lucky to force a game 5.
Our pitching staff like it when their faces are covered in midges.
We beat you last time (1999) with Troy O’Leary, Darren Lewis, Jose Offerman, John Valentin, Brian Daubach, Lou Merloni, Kent Mercker, Bryce Florie, Rheal Cormier, Bret Saberhagen, Ramon Martinez and DONNIE SADLER. You have no chance in 2007. (Seriously… you lost to us when we had Butch Huskey and Damon Buford).
Offerman Is Bat-Sh*t-Crazy August 15, 2007
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It would seem that yesterday Jose Offerman collected more hits than he did during his entire final season with Red Sox. He connected with both the pitcher and catcher while charging the mound and, here’s the scary part, he used his baseball bat. Details are sketchy, but it seems that Offerman hit a homerun in the 1st inning and was hit by a pitch in his next at bat. Taking offense to this, he charged the mound but didn’y drop his bat like most players. Instead, he took it with him and struck the pitcher in the hands (the pitcher was most likely in a defensive position with his hands in front of his face, I doubt that Offerman mean tto hit his hands) and got the catcher in THE HEAD! With a BAT! The article doesn’t say whether or not the catcher was wearing his mask…but don’t cathcers usually flip their masks off before they run anywhere?
The most surprising part of all this? Jose Offerman is STILL playing baseball for some reason. The guy’s a Bum!
Random Notes August 6, 2007
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I lost the score sheet from this past week…so if the 1st 2nd and 3rd place teams want to remind me of their team names I can update the all-time leader board.
Also, I apologize (as unapologetically as possible) for that lack of interesting posts this summer but, well, it’s summer and I’m busy doing fun things other than finding random shit on the internet. I would expect a ‘return to normalcy’ in late September.
On that note, I saw on Geekologie that a lamb was born with seven legs.
Sex Bob, Sex Dan. May 23, 2007
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These ads are for a program called the X Show… which I think is off the air. I don’t remember seeing them when they originally aired, but I wish I had. Basically it’s about some guys in everday situations that say whatever comes to mind… after you see the first one, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. My only question: why no mention of trivia??
Thanks to Mackie for the links.
Sea Dogs Baseball May 2, 2007
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The “Maine Monster”, originally uploaded by Popehammer.
Last night I went to my first Portland Sea Dogs baseball game… and it was great. For those who don’t know, the Sea Dogs are the AA affiliate of the Boston Red Sox. Many Sox greats have come through Portland including Jonathan Papelbon and Youk.
A few months ago, I bought ticket packages that included 8 Sea Dogs games and 2 Red Sox games…I got 4 seats for each one..mostly because I had no other way to get Sox tickets..and the Sea Dogs tickets were super cheap ($7 each) so I figured, ‘what the hell, maybe I’ll get up there and see a game, maybe I’ll just give them away to my friends in Maine.
After last night though, I think I’m going to every single game. It’s only a 90 minute drive from Boston. You can park 100 yards away from the main entrance. My $7 seats were about 25 rows behind the plate. Beers are GOOD (Geary’s and Shipyard) and cheap… Ice Cream Sundaes..$3. Between every inning there is some super cheesy yet fun activity going on down on the field. One inning they gave some kid a bucket of lobsters and he had to throw them about 90 feet to his friend that had a lobster trap in which he needed to catch the aforementioned lobsters. Yeh..I’d rather eat them, but still fun to watch.
Last night was a great game. Sea Dogs pitcher Clay Buchholz took a perfect game into the 7th before his shortstop missed a grounder (he had to dive but still should have made it). The game was tied until the bottom of the 8th when Cory Keylor sent a 3-run homer over the “Maine Monster” (pictured above).
Speaking of homeruns.. that brings me to my two favorite parts:
1. Whenever the Sea Dogs hit a home run, a GIANT lighthouse emerges from behind the centerfield wall, a fog horn sounds repeatedly and fireworks shoot off everywhere. It’s so great.
2. The ballpark is SO intimate (read: small) that the players and umpires can hear you even when you’re not screaming at the top of your lungs. I got in some of the best heckling of my life last night. I reserved the harshest criticism for the visiting team (Bowie Bay Sox) but you better believe I laid into shortstop Jacoby Ellsbury when he blew the perfect game!
**NOTE: Alert reader, Kristin, has pointed out that Ellsbury wasn’t even in the game. She is correct, it was Hernandez that made the error. I let Ellsbury have it for no reason. These things happen. I’m sure Ellsbury deserved it for some reason or other…like NOT BEING IN THE GAME! You lazy bum!
The Switch Pitcher April 6, 2007
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Back in college, I used to joke with my roommates that one day I would go to the Red Sox open try-outs and actually make the team. Since I (sadly) don’t play baseball, it seemed unlikely that I would ever don the Sox uniform, park my truck in the players’ parking area, or chew out an umpire [from the field]. But I had a plan. I would have an ability that no one else had…I would be either a Bad Ass* or a Switch Pitcher.
Imagine the benefit of a guy that can pitch effectively to righties and lefties. You wouldn’t have to take him out and replace him with a specialist… and he only uses each arm half as much! So he could either pitch twice as long OR twice as frequently. Well, turns out I missed the boat because the New York Times reported on a real life switch-pitcher today. At the very least, I hope the Sox get him! And it looks like I’ll have to start developing my skills as a Bad Ass.
*The position of Bad Ass was invented at Union College in 2001. Here’s the deal: The centerfielder is removed from the game and is replaced by a player that resembles a refrigerator… Let’s say, Brian Daubach. The new player doesn’t go out to center field though. He puts on the catcher’s chest pad and mask and crouches between the pitcher and the batter, about 2 feet in front of home plate. The catcher will signal when the pitcher winds up for the pitch at which point the Bad Ass jumps in the air, arms splayed. If all goes well, the pitch will have sailed over his back and if the batter connects with the pitch, the ball should hit the Bad Ass and fall harmlessly (we hope) within reach of the catcher who makes the out.
