Trivia Guy

Back in college, I used to joke with my roommates that one day I would go to the Red Sox open try-outs and actually make the team. Since I (sadly) don’t play baseball, it seemed unlikely that I would ever don the Sox uniform, park my truck in the players’ parking area, or chew out an umpire [from the field]. But I had a plan. I would have an ability that no one else had…I would be either a Bad Ass* or a Switch Pitcher.

Imagine the benefit of a guy that can pitch effectively to righties and lefties. You wouldn’t have to take him out and replace him with a specialist… and he only uses each arm half as much! So he could either pitch twice as long OR twice as frequently. Well, turns out I missed the boat because the New York Times reported on a real life switch-pitcher today. At the very least, I hope the Sox get him! And it looks like I’ll have to start developing my skills as a Bad Ass.

*The position of Bad Ass was invented at Union College in 2001. Here’s the deal: The centerfielder is removed from the game and is replaced by a player that resembles a refrigerator… Let’s say, Brian Daubach. The new player doesn’t go out to center field though. He puts on the catcher’s chest pad and mask and crouches between the pitcher and the batter, about 2 feet in front of home plate. The catcher will signal when the pitcher winds up for the pitch at which point the Bad Ass jumps in the air, arms splayed. If all goes well, the pitch will have sailed over his back and if the batter connects with the pitch, the ball should hit the Bad Ass and fall harmlessly (we hope) within reach of the catcher who makes the out.